An Inner Revolution.

Have you ever heard of the January Blues? At some point in the early part of the year it feels as if there’s an all-consuming lull in positivity. The joyous and exuberant feelings that were celebrated with ardor throughout the holiday season – they become wisps of reality that we’re barely able to hold on to.

This year I honestly thought that I had successfully bypassed the dreaded January Blues. January wasn’t the smoothest sea I’ve sailed, but it was much more serene in comparison to any other start to the year that I could recall.

Silly me, my January Blues were just making a late arrival.


To start, let’s talk about what went right in January:

  • I started up my blog again.
  • I bought a new car.
  • I reached a momentous level of confidence with how my mental health was developing.

It may be a small list, but with how stubborn I can be about making cosmic decisions in regards to my life and how long it took for me to feel comfortable with managing my mental health, it’s all monumental strides for me.

I was doing okay. I was able to express myself and diligently work towards my desired successes and be happy. From how my January was going, I really thought that for the first time in a while, I had successfully managed to step into a year without tripping over my feet. Things were going right.

Let’s not forget, I did say that my January Blues came late to the party.

Just when I thought that this utopian ride through 2018 would continue, I drifted into the doldrums as February came around. Out of nowhere, I lost sight of what I regarded as important and settled comfortably into stagnation.

Getting up everyday had a different meaning. Where I used to be estatic to start the day and get work done or learn something new, I just wanted to hide away from all responsibilities and activities that required me to move, and just take a nap.

Even being around some of my dearest friends and family members in places that bring my spirits to the highest level of ascension possible, I felt like I was experiencing something outside of myself. My bank of emotions had been significantly overdrawn.


I genuinely felt that every word or action that I enacted needed a subsequent apology because I felt so distant from who I was being at the time. To put it simply – I felt awful.

What made me even more upset is that nothing prompted my behavior. There was no significant stressor that triggered my actions (or rather, cyclical inaction). It just happened.

I can call it a late arrival of the January Blues, but let’s be real. We can dress it up and give it all the nicknames we’d like, but the bare bones of it all is that this hollow feeling, It’s depression.

It’s not the first time I’ve experienced an emotional downswing like this, and I’ve managed it before. Once realized, I’m able to arrange my behaviors to do better, and best my depression as much as I can. It’s not something I’ve learned overnight how to overcome, and neither is realizing what it is that I need to overcome.


Sometimes, you need to realize how low you feel to learn what you need to do ascend to the great heights you set for yourself. The lovely Kristin Ondocsin of the Skinny Intern   painted my feelings into life perfectly with this statement:

It’s okay to fall down and lose your spark. Just make sure that when you get back up, you rise as the whole damn flame.

As much as it frustrates me when these episodes come about, I’ve realized that despite the measures I take to manage them, at times they’re just unavoidable. It’s my due diligence to ensure myself that these depressive episodes don’t stay around forever.

As peculiar as it sounds, when my depression comes about, I learn quite a bit about how I feel, and what I need to do to spark my own inner revolution towards happiness.

The hapless truth about depression is that it’s unavoidable. Despite this, just because we get stuck in a low place doesn’t mean we have to stay there.

I’ve worked so hard to make sure that the mental space that I’m at is a good one. Just because my emotions take a downturn for a little bit, doesn’t mean that I’m going to allow them to stay low when I’ve experienced the best of being emotionally high.

I like being there. So it’s time to get up, and get back to the healthy space where I want to be.



41 thoughts on “An Inner Revolution.”

  1. First of all, THOSE PANTS! They’re amazing. And second, I related to this as I shared a similar spout of January Blues, especially in regards to the realization that we don’t have to get stuck in these feelings and let them overtake us. Beautiful!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Idora, I think your outfit is awesome, and your pants, match the vibrancy you want your life to be in! 🙂 I, too, struggle with depression, and what keeps me going is God and hope that things will better in the future if I do not give up!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. HI 🙂
    I was so glad to read about how your confidence was completely influenced by your mental health!
    I’m at a point in my life where I’m breaking new ground, having improved a lot these “silly little things” that go on in our heads, and unfortunately no one that I know can completely relate to…
    I feel like I identified s much with your words… It truly made me a tad happier today 🙂

    Wish you the best!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I found myself nodding along to much of what you had written about mental health and depression and how it can affect you at moments that are unexpected. Like you said its unavoidable; when you have a mental condition or illness, its sometimes hard to pinpoint when the demons will take over and sometimes all that we want to do is run and hide away from the world. In other instances we need people around us, but no two persons experiences with mental health is the same and we should be mindful of that as well. I think it is brave that you have let the world into your struggles with depression and you should be very proud of yourself for having that strength. Hang in there and on another note I love the glitter trousers! I just followed you on Instagram!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Great inspiring post. We must remember that after the fall when we rise with the desire to move forward. I love those pants as well, they speak to your journey. Your statement says it all:

    “It’s okay to fall down and lose your spark. Just make sure that when you get back up, you rise as the whole damn flame.”

    Liked by 1 person

  6. No list of positives is too small! Every positive thing that happens to us is a gift we should be happy about! Blogging again must feel so good! I’m sure it’s a great outlet for you as well to write and be honest.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Great post! There are times when I think we all get depressed and some have a harder times overcoming it than others. Very inspiring and great to remember when life gets ya down. Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. “As much as it frustrates me when these episodes come about, I’ve realized that despite the measures I take to manage them, at times they’re just unavoidable. It’s my due diligence to ensure myself that these depressive episodes don’t stay around forever.” PREACH MAMA!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. It is quite astounding how noticeable our emotional ups and downs are at different times of year. There’s something about January to imbue us with a sense of freshness and vigour, only for it to come crashing down again when we hit the slow, short month that is February.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I love how honest you are about mental health issues. I think that is such a good thing considering how many people have depression! And I love love love that quote!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. First off – I NEED those pants. NEED THEM.
    Secondly, yes – January BLUES are 10000000% real. I always get sad when the holidays are over – ugh. But then March/April comes around and uh, I start getting excited for the upcoming holidays – LMFAO!!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Great post for inspiration! Those pants looks amazing. I want that. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and being so open and honest about your personal battle.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Winter can definitely be a harder time, I know it is for me with the shorter days and freezing weather. The good news is that hopefully Spring will come soon, but this is an important topic to discuss openly 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Firstly, those trousers are absolutely stunning and I love the way you’ve styled the outfit. Also, congratulations on the car, starting your blog again and gaining more confidence. Doing that really does do wonders for our mental health x

    Liked by 1 person

  15. First let me say I couldnt stop looking at your sequined pants I had to Pin this post for it (LOVE IT). But the Winter Blues is real and I think we all felt it, so happy spring is coming with more song and longer days and more happiness to come dear!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The pants seem to be pretty popular, haha! Thank you, thank you. It’s taken a little bit of time and there’s still more work to do but I’m getting there! I’m glad you took something away from this 🙂


    1. It really was! But it definitely went much better than my February. Here’s to better days ahead. Thanks so much for the congratulations and compliment! Both are very sweet and very much appreciated ❤


  16. Lovely outfit and those pants are just totally dope. Congratulations on the new car and the new blog. I know what depression can do to a person, My girlfriend use to have it until she started to travel and that took her mind off it. And now she blogs about it and meets new people everyday and has new experiences each day.


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