You’re Just Too Comfortable In Chains

Here’s a sad story: I’ve always had a penchant for tender-footing around valuable decisions that move me towards living my best life.

I’ll see what I want in front of me, but with my deranged methodology of being a little punk, I’ll find someway to chicken out of doing what I need to get what I want.

It’s really annoying.

When I was younger, I held a very flippant attitude about my inner “punk ass”. I thought it was okay to divert my life’s course away from what I wanted for myself for the sake of sensibility.

  • I got an acceptance letter from Boston University for undergrad. This city has always been my favorite city. Did I go? No, I went to a local community college.
  • I always wanted to get a pixie cut, even in my teens. When I finally felt brave enough at sixteen to get a pixie cut, my hairdresser said that a cut like that would be too unconventional, too bold for someone my age. I just let her give me a trim.
  • I did whatever I could to hang with the cool kids in grade school. I never thought it was stupid to adjust my personality so I could be considered “cool”. I sat with the popular kids, even though my real friends were seated at other tables.

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In my mind, doing what was conventional was what should have kept me happy. Even though my heart cried out for the opposite of what I was giving it, I still kept on living on the terms of what was orthodox.

I was giving myself the most passive life.

Being a boring teenager evolved into becoming a droll adult. In my early 20’s I still felt as if I was incredibly commonplace and so far from the utopian model of a young woman happy with who she is, and what she was doing with her life.

I just think too much, this overthinking has always made me uptight.

When I was alone or with my family and closest friends, I felt loose enough to try and let myself be me. 

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Even around my family and closest friends, it was very tough to relax and be comfortable with letting all the elements of my personality shine. It made me very passive-aggressive, and it only grew worse the more I distanced myself from my portrait of happiness to connect myself with everyone else’s.

I’ll blame it on my youth for living that imprudently for so long. Wisdom and experience over time has taught me that what makes everyone else happy may not be for you.

Over the past couple of years, I’ve made strides that I consider tremendous towards my own nirvana. I’ve learned that the first vital step to take towards bliss is to stop caring so much about others and their thoughts.

Why should it be important what people who don’t play a considerate role in my life think about my choices and what makes me happy? So what if I cut my hair and it’s not conventional? So what if I decide to move 1200 miles away to a city that makes my soul burst with pure enchantment?

Why should I care about anything that doesn’t make me happy?

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No one should ever have to feel that they should skirt around their happiness because embracing it wholeheartedly would be discordant to what is conventional.

I’ve realized that putting myself in a mold that I don’t belong in is no fun and it’s not easy on the heart. I’ve grown from looking at life from the comfort of a safe ground, to stepping out of my comfort zone and taking the time to learn how I can live each day being a better me and learning to be confident in who that woman is.

It doesn’t matter who the rest of the world says you should be. If you’re singing a different song than the rest of the choir, as long as it makes you happy – keep singing.

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20 thoughts on “You’re Just Too Comfortable In Chains”

  1. If you are always worried about others perceptions you are doomed to a life of complacency. Love your life. Don’t allow others to love theirs vicariously through you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Stepping out of your comfort zone is never easy but I am glad you are taking steps to being completely yourself and making yourself feel happy.

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  3. This is such a meaningful post. I think at one point or another we’ve all fallen into these traps of worrying what others might think or keeping within our personal comforts–– it’s the getting out that matters and putting yourself first.

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  4. I kinda resonate with what you have to say and it makes me sad to think of times when I wasn’t my best because of others.

    I have since learned to stop thinking of it as others fault and started taking responsibility and it has been liberating!

    More power to you, you’re awesome.

    Ps: I love your shirt

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  5. Reading this made me realise that a lot of us do this in life in fear that breaking from the norm doing something that is different will alienate us from society, family and friends .But I think we need to realise that this is not the case. You should do what makes you happy and those who care for you will accept your decision.

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  6. I think we’ve all done a bit of adjusting to meet conventions. It’s awesome when we recognize it and decide it’s not necessary…and that we’ll probably be happier if we don’t.

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  7. Absolutely loving the grey and white! You are rocking it. I say live and let live. Feel the fear and do it anyway, nothing amazing happens inside out comfort zone and sheep will only get as far as the flock lead them. Be different, be happy but most of all be you

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  8. I have found that aside from us being our own worst enemy, it can hard to live our truth and be ourselves when we fear others won’t accept our real self’s. But what happens when you embrace yourself and let the true you shine? You attract your true tribe. You’re true tribe will encourage you to spread your wings and fly not help your mind hold you down.

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  9. Great post! I tend to be the same way, and I am still working through it to be myself. When I am myself, everything flows and I am blessed and happy, but when I am trying to please other people, nothing works out and I am always stressed and upset.

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  10. I relate to this so much. I made a conscious effort recently to start just being myself in social situations, and it’s made me a lot happier. I spent a lot of my life censoring myself because I was worried people wouldn’t like me. Everyone would be a lot happier and more content if they listened to their gut and just let themselves be themselves.

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