Some weeks aren’t yours. This week definitely wasn’t mine.
Everything I attempted to make this week a good one completely backfired and blew up in my face. Some weeks just make you want to throw in the towel and tell life “You know what? You win.”
It’s not like this week was all bad, it actually started off on a high note. I made some necessary adult moves and life changes for the better. This week portrayed itself in the beginning as one that wasn’t any different from the rest – just me trying to be the best human I can be, one day at a time.
Then Wednesday hit. Not even halfway through my day I ended up crying in my car from an anxiety attack on a fifteen minute break at work. How does one crumble into pieces and put themselves back together to face people within fifteen minutes?
Thursday passed as normal. I was productive and spent the day doing what I enjoy. It was the atonement I needed from the day before taking a toll on my emotions. Then Friday came. I wanted so badly for the week to end on a high note. I say this often, but life found a way once again. Friday was not good.
My anxiety this week and what caused it stemmed from one thing – people. At times, we get so caught up in trying our best to improve ourselves that we get attached to the idea that we need to improve who we are for others more than we do for ourselves. Or at least I did.
The fact of the matter is that I ended up crying at work twice and it all stemmed from the way I reacted to the people around me.
As much as this week has taken down my emotions, I’ll take what it taught me with a stride. I’ve learned two vital lessons this week through the trials it gave me:
1. People suck.
2. Sometimes you need to see the bad to see the truth.
Let’s get down to the details.
#1: People Suck.
Not all of them. However, there are spackles of people that lack the best of intentions. What makes it even worse is when you constantly give them the benefit of the doubt and make excuses for their behavior, even though they’ve burned you in the past. It’s hard to see people for who they are. Despite the obvious, we’ll find all the reason to flip their behaviors to see them as a good person. Call it as it is. If it’s a fish, it’s a fish. If it’s a duck, it’s a duck. If someone is not a good person, then they’re not a good person. There is no reason to keep up appearances. Put that energy towards keeping up friendships that matter.
#2: Sometimes You Need To See The Bad To See The Truth.
All my life, the one consistent issue I’ve had is looking at people and life through rose tinted glasses. After freaking out and having my second anxiety attack this week at work, I was on the phone with one of my best friends Jackie and she made a valid point:
Yes. This week sucked. The bad side of the universe won against you this week. You know what doesn’t suck though? Your life.
Outside of this week, my life is wonderful. I feel fully connected to who I am, excited and determined about my future, and most importantly – I get shit done. Life is beyond great right now, it’s shaping up to be the most beautiful time of my life I’ve experienced.
I’m a good person. I’m also too forgiving of a person and that has always been my downfall. I’ve always been told that a forgiving heart is one that is hard to achieve, but even then we can explore our limits with forgiveness. Sometimes being too forgiving allows us to let people walk all over our hearts and make them rotten.
I will not let my soul get tattered by the soiled steps of those with unkind intentions. I’ve learned this week to seriously take this advice to heart:
- Don’t tell people that something is okay when it’s not.
- Don’t try to frame a person in a positive light if all the signs point to them being otherwise. Let them be who they want to be and they can deal with their own life and consequences. Don’t you dare deal with them and clear their conscience for them.
- With friendships it’s about quality, not quantity.
When it comes to the friendships that you’ve kept for a long time, take a deep look into why you’ve had them. Do you just stay around because the relationship you’ve had with this person has been around for a while?
Don’t be fooled by the fallacy of time. If you see that your friendship only exists for one thing and there is no building up of each other to be better, chances are it’s not a friendship. It’s a one sided situation and guess what? You’re being taken advantage of.
Growing up, I learned the hard way about the quality of friendships over quantity and some people really aren’t worth it. Realizing this is an important part of growing up. I’m sick and tired of opening up to others and giving so much to them only for them to just take and never give back.
It’s not selfish to say that you’re allowed to feel like you’re not receiving anything in a friendship. If the person you called a friend cared, they would respect your feelings and think beyond their shrewd and self-serving gratifications. Another thing, friendships aren’t about keeping up appearances. Don’t play nice to my face and then shun me behind my back.
Yes, this week definitely sucked, but I’m taking it in as a lesson. I need to be honest with myself and stop looking at people in a better light than they deserve.
People suck and I can’t control that. I can make sure that the environment I’m in is filled with people who are honest and genuinely good and that are pure with their intentions. It’s the least I can do for myself and for my happiness.
If you think this was written for you, it probably was.
I’m just gonna start by saying that I’m so proud of you! It’s so hard to realize that a friendship isn’t what you thought it was, or that it’s not what it once was, and move on. You’re such a selfless person and I’m so glad to see you’re focusing on yourself and making strides to surround yourself with people who build you up. Love you always, witchy sis!
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You’re so right in your point that sometimes you need to see the bad to see the truth. Doing so can open our eyes and allow us to learn from these mistakes to change the path that we’re on and live better, more fulfilled and happy lives. By the way, I absolutely love the photos you’ve included int his post. You look gorgeous!!
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ugh – we all have days & weeks like this – some weeks I feel like I can do no wrong & others I feel like every single one of my clients hates me for some reason & getting through those weeks with grace & dignity are the moments I get stronger as a person – on a vain note you look beautiful & I loooooove your glasses!
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First – thank you so much for sharing this. I can currently relate heavily to a lot of this. It takes a lot to see that you’re being taken advantage of in a friendship and as somebody who is also too forgiving that has happened to me quite a few times unfortunately. And anxiety is a beast, it’s so hard to manage sometimes and it can feel like the universe is against you sometimes – ugh. But I love what your friend said about just because this week sucks doesn’t mean your life sucks. I hope this next week is a lot better!
xx Chelsea
http://www.organizedmessblog.com
PS: Stunning photos!
xx Chelsea
http://www.organizedmessblog.com
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I agree completely with statement 1 and 2.
We learn some things over time, and some will never understand. Great pictures too.
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Anxiety, can completely take over at times. Have you ever considered seeing a hypnotherapist? It’s something I practice, so I’ve seen great improvements. I wish you all the best. You have many valid points!
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Oh I feel ya! I had a down week aswell this week but I am excited for the next one to begin. I am sorry you suffer from anxiety, I did in the past too and I know how hard it can be but you’ve got the right attitude, the day or the week may suck but life certainly doesn’t. As for those one sided friendships sometimes its needed to let these people go, its not always easy but you have to look after yourself and if you keep trying over and over and nothing changes.. thats not a friendship.
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This post really hit home for me. As a fellow anxiety sufferer, I have had to learn how to set boundaries with certain people, including family members and coworkers. At first it tore me up inside to have to limit my interactions with certain people, but I just can’t hang out with/listen to people that either instigate my anxieties or are constant complainers. Both bring me down and have a detrimental effect on my health. I only wish I had learned how to set boundaries earlier in my life. Hopefully next week is better and brighter! 🙂
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I’m sorry about all the ton of bad stuff that happened but guess what? You are a victor! You came out too strong to even write this post and let the world see that you are definitely a strong woman! Anyway, there is always a silver lining behind any bad cloud! Sometimes, the bad is just there to make us grow stronger while still preparing us for the great good ahead of us. And again, we have to know that some people are there to make us fulfill our goals; especially the bad ones. As a Christian, I can tell from the Bible that Goliath was there to make David’s name and so are the ones who suck in your life! Be strong gorgeous…I really loved reading this!
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Wow, I couldn’t agree more with this post. I’ve been avoiding going to a lot of places lately because I’m having a hard time handling people and it freaks my anxiety out too. I think it’s awesome you were able to take a lesson from it!
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I always to remind myself that there are good days and bad days for reasons. There are definitely lessons to be learned with both.
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I couldn’t relate more, you mentioned how with time you realized that it is the quality of the friendships as opposed to the quantity that counts and you are right, Growing up I was never popular and always wished I wasn’t so I was often friends with people who never really liked me, for me. Turns out that having less friends who will actually have your back is much better. And I am sorry to hear that you have had such a rough week, I do hope that there is a rainbow waiting at the other side. And on another note truly beautiful photos x
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I’m sorry you had such a hard week! I agree people can often disappoint you and I’m learning it’s important not to put people on a pedestal that they don’t belong on. You’re right though, sometimes you have to experience the bad to overcome it. I hope this week is a much happier week for you x
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At least you were able to find something good out of a bad week. That is a huge accomplishment
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I really admire your ability to put a positive spin on a tough situation, and to learn something new when you struggle. I need to be more like that…
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I am sure this was written for me 🙂 , I can resonate with each word , its like god is talking to me bu guess what outside this week lifes good yup 😀 How does one crumble into pieces and put themselves back together to face people within fifteen minutes this line got me hooked to this post…………I feel ya 🙂 Huggs XOXO
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I suffer from anxiety issues, too and I felt that the post echoed all my past thoughts. All I have to say is hang in there and don’t let things get you down no matter how hard it is
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Everything in life turns into a lesson. People do suck. I mean not all of them but some and it is important to not stay around them too long. Also it’s important to always see the positive even in the darkest things! coz good things happen after!
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Some weeks are better than others and you just need to see the bad ones as learning and let go! Believe me in a years time you will not remember this little bad moments!
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I am sorry you had a hard week. I agree with you that sometimes the most we do is for the people and less for ourselves, with time and experience, I am getting more comfortable in what I am and what I like instead of keeping my own self after others. You are right, sometimes we have to see the bad to know the truth. What a beautiful and inspiring post. Love all your pictures, you are so beautiful!
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How true. At the end the what lessons we learned from life that matters.
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You look beautiful! i am crazy about total white lately as well. Also your frames are super pretty!
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True anxiety sometimes takes over the positivity and breaks us into pieces and at times it is due to the surrounding people. But I’m happy that you pulled up yourself and took the lessons. Sometimes, bad things in lige are for good as they make you the person you want to be.
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Everyone does things for a reason, whether we understand it or not. I’m currently reading The Rules of People, which is rather enlightening. People don’t suck; people are inherently good, but sometimes their actions certainly do suck and it can be so hard to deal with them sometimes. It’s all a matter of perspective – this week my husband’s work colleague killed herself, I’m waiting surgery to remove a fast-growing tumour and my eldest son moved out from home. It’s been a crappy week for me too. 😦
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I am so sorry to hear you had a rough week, our brains are a funny old thing aren’t they but sometimes its best to just take an “anxiety week” let it all out then try and pick yourself back up again. I do hope this week goes so much better for you.
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Unfortunately, I can completely relate to everything you’ve written here – even the crying at work 😢 judging my all the comments here though, we should take sollace in the fact we’re not the only ones who feel this way at times. It’s supportive to know you’re not struggling alone x
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I can totally relate to this. Breaking down at work and running out of the ward to the toilet to just cry my heart out. Just because everything is getting a little bit too much. But we just have to push through and move on.
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This advice is rock solid. I love how even you had a bad week, you still manage to focus on the positive & take out the important, positive parts of it. It is unfortunately true that not all people are good. I’m a very naive person who tries to see the best in everyone. That often gets my hopes up high and disappointment is around the corner. But like you said yourself, some people are just what they are and we shouldn’t be investing too much energy in the why’s and hows. Sometimes it just is what it is. Thank you for sharing dear!
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